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STAGE 2: WORLD DOMINATION |
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YOU WILL BOW DOWN TO US |
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Following the release of the next WINDOWS update, we are happy to inform you that we will be installing a new, improved mind control agent right into the software, leaving our users completely in our control! Since all microsoft software is planned to shut down unless the update is installed, you will have no choice but to download the new software, leaving you our slave. After the entire world is bound by us, we will eventually take it over. |
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THERE WILL BE NO RESISTANCE FROM APPLE |
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After the world takeover, we will wipe out all Apple Computer technologies by ordering several million slaves to eat any non-microsoft computer they see. Macintosh users, though, will not actually become slaves, as they do not have to download this update. |
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WE WILL HAVE GOVERNMENT CONTROL |
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And don't think that the government will help you! Since all United States Government agencies use microsoft software, they too will become slaves of the corporation, and we will therefore control the entire government. We actually have a spy in the White House, Dick Cheney. This government control also includes complete and total control of the United States Military. That doesn't matter, though, because we at microsoft have actually secretly developed a vast army of robot soldiers (see below).
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RESISTANCE IS FUTILE |
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It would be pointless to try and resist being a slave, that is, if you currently use Microsoft software. If you try in any way to rebel, we will kill you.
Thanks, and enjoy the next chapter of world history, led by the Microsoft Corporation. |
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